Stutter
by great.and.small
Summary: So. There's that awkward moment when one realizes that they've met the love of their life...and totally messed everything up. Yeah. That's about where Axel finds himself. But let's rewind a bit. Rated for a reason, warnings inside.
1. Chapter 1

_I've been working on this one for awhile, and it's almost finished, but I've been itching to post it to get some feedback, so I figured I'd put up one chapter a week and see what people think. The promise of timely updates? Madness! I know, but that's the goal._

_Anyway, a few notes on this one. First off, this is the first story that I've written that doesn't take place in what is exactly the "game world", so I guess it's AU. I'm nervous about it, because I don't like to lose the characters in some crazy world that they don't belong. Hopefully it doesn't come across that way._

_Second, and *spoiler alert*, Axel has a stutter. Being someone that knows a bit about stuttering, I tried to write so that his speech isn't too annoying or difficult to read. It's part of the story, I hope you don't hate it._

_Thirdly, there is quite a bit of cursing, hence the rating. There are some mature themes in this and later chapters, such as drugs, alcohol, and potentially boy love (but nothing explicit or graphic)._

_If any of the above do not appeal to you, then by all means don't read this. _

_Still here? Awesome. Please review and I hope you enjoy._

_Also, guess what? I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Square Enix. _

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><p>So.<p>

There's that awkward moment when a person comes to the realization that they've found the love of their life...but they've totally messed everything up. That gut wrenching awful that clamps somewhere around the upper intestine, making the pancreas overflow, on the verge of exploding and releasing enzymatic juices throughout the abdominal cavity. That point, where no matter how healthy and great life has been until that very second, there's an intense desire to suffer a fatal cardiac arrhythmia.

Yeah.

That's about where Axel found himself.

But let's rewind a bit.

* * *

><p>It was a Tuesday. This is very important because the burrito place down on fifth street had half off veggie burritos on Tuesdays.<p>

Axel was late. He didn't mean to be late, but there were many things that happened in life that he didn't really mean.

It's just that he'd had to brush his teeth twice (because it still sort of felt like there was something there), and he'd needed to redo his tie (eventually picking a different one entirely, because the other one was _not _cooperating), and Zexion had moved the silverware out of order again (soupspoons were incredibly different from teaspoons), and there was a smudge on the window, and one shoelace was longer than the other, and the coffee pot was crooked, and his hair was weird...

Anyway. Axel was running late.

On any other Tuesday, this may not have mattered so much, given that one needed a _life_ in order to have places to go, and Axel didn't. Have a life that is. Except for that day, in which he was supposed to be going to a job interview.

Mission to obtain a respectable lifestyle.

Step one. Get a job that paid over minimum wage.

He was running down the hallway, towards the lobby, his long legs stretched to full capacity, his clumsy feet making a slapping noise on the tile that made him want to wince. His fire bright hair was pulled back into a somewhat professional looking ponytail, and was wearing dark rimmed glasses, that were almost thick enough to hide the scars on his cheeks, and covered his panicked green eyes. He barreled through the front doors of his apartment complex, just in time to see the bus leaving without him.

The more dramatic part of his brain wanted to crumble to the sidewalk and wallow in misery. The other part of his brain couldn't stop thinking of the bacteria on that sidewalk that would probably give him cancer, or AIDS, or scurvy, or something.

"Hey! Dumb ass! Let's go!" Axel looked up to see Demyx, that _angel,_ waiting at the curb in a very beat up old van, the bumpers beyond rusted and the original paint color unidentifiable.

The redhead heaved a sigh of relief and sprinted over to the passenger side door, hesitating for a second, really just one second, before he heard an annoyed grumble from inside the vehicle, and finally yanked the door open, plopping himself down on the seat, buckling in.

"Thanks, Dem." Axel smiled unsteadily.

"No problemo, hombre." Demyx grinned lazily (Axel wondered briefly if he was high, but surely it was still too early for that, right?) "Where to today?"

"Uh, Oblivion Designs. It's on, um, Thirty-Second between Twilight and Traverse."

"You got it!" Demyx sped off from the curb, with no glance backwards or to his mirrors to check that he was clear. Axel's blonde mullet-hawked friend leaned forward to turn down the reggae streaming from his outdated radio, "So, you ready?"

"Y-yeah. I guess." Axel swallowed nervously, starting to wish he could have caught the bus.

"C'mon man! You have to like, pump yourself up for this shit, ya know?" Demyx quirked a pierced eyebrow at him and adopted a falsely serious voice. "So tell me, why do you deserve the job?"

Axel really wished that he didn't have to play along. "I graduated from Radiant Garden. Four point zero average." _Lot of good that did me._ "I interned at Kingdom Architecture for six months after my senior year." _But I never gotten a job there._ "I have a list of good references." _Including my boss at the cinema. Gods, kill me now._

"See, dude? You've totally got this." Demyx threw him a reassuring grin as the van bounced up onto the curb outside of a tall sleek building.

"Y-yeah. Sure." Axel tried to will his feet or his hands or any part of his body to move, but nothing seemed to want to listen.

"Go, man! Your interview is in like, ten." Demyx reached across him to fling the door open and bodily shove him out, after this many years used to Axel's weird anxiety.

"OK." Axel hit the ground solidly, bounced directly back up, and started running towards the doors.

Inside, he collected himself, as best he could, and strode up to the secretary's desk, hopefully looking confident.

"Hello, my n-names Axel Lea. I'm, uh, here to see Mr. Ansem?" Damn his stutter.

The secretary glanced up at him shortly, her fingers never ceasing their clacking on the keyboard. "You can have a seat over there. Mr. Ansem is in a meeting."

"Oh. OK." Axel walked stiffly over to the offered seats, cradling his portfolio in his lap.

_I won't stutter._

_I won't drop anything._

_I won't fall over._

_I won't try to reorganize his desk._

Axel went over and over in his head all the things that he wouldn't do, that he _totally _hadn't done before (_not_).

"Mr. Lea? You can go in now." Axel started at the sound of the secretary's voice and glanced down at his watch to find that he'd been berating himself for almost five minutes. He heaved a sigh, and moved to follow the woman, hoping that maybe_ this_ time...

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><p>Loud techno pumped through his ear buds that were snaked up through the inside of his awful maroon polo that was two sizes too big for him. The black and gold baseball cap squished his hair down, and if felt like there was a sheen of grease over his entire being from when he'd had to restock concessions earlier. Axel focused on sweeping the floors of the abandoned theater, attempting to ignore the terrible feeling of failure that welled up in his chest whenever he thought of the interview.<p>

Mr. Ansem had been nice enough, but he wouldn't be calling to offer Axel a job. The redhead could tell. He'd graduated almost two years ago now and had been to enough interviews and job fairs to know that he wasn't getting called back. Ever.

Suddenly, something grabbed Axel by the hem of his oversized uniform shirt, and he almost jumped out of his skin, all color draining from his face as he whipped around to confront his attacker.

"Whoa! It's just me Ax." Roxas. The sunshine blonde was patting his hands in the air calmingly, but his expressive blue eyes were full of humor. "Closing time. Time to go."

"Oh. R-right." Axel picked up his broom/dustpan..._thingy_ and followed his shorter friend out of the theater into the hallway.

"So, how was you day?" Roxas smiled up at him lightly.

"Um..." _I mean aside from the fact that I'm a whopping failure that's going nowhere in life and I'll never really amount to anything or get a real job, "_It was OK."

"Nice." Roxas said blandly.

There was silence as they walked to the staff room, and then Axel started mentally kicking himself, realizing that _usually _people had two way fucking _conversations._ "Uh, what-what about you?"

"Me?" Roxas looked genuinely surprised that Axel had spoken up, "Huh. Nothing really, usual shit. Class, work, you know."

Axel nodded, hoping the blonde would continue, but he didn't. The thing was, Axel liked Roxas. A lot. Roxas was a senior at HBU, majoring in psychology. The younger man had always been kind to him, and Axel vaguely hoped that wasn't because the blonde thought of him as a patient or something like that.

Generally, though, great people like Roxas didn't go for neurotic-stuttering-mildly OCD-failure architect-idiots like Axel, but he still wished they could maybe be better friends, or something.

_Greater emphasis on or something._

The pair were exiting the cinema together into the crisp air of early spring. Axel desperately wished he could say something intelligent and witty, but that wish never seemed to come true for him.

"Well," The blonde turned to him, a half smile still present, "See you tomorrow then?"

Axel was about to answer with one of his usual dumb, stupid things that he had trained himself to say all the time, when his eyes caught the neon 'open' sign that flashed across the street. "D-did you, uh, eat?"

"What?" Roxas looked confused, and Axel hated that his tongue couldn't even form that simple sentence.

"Uh, well, um," _No, no, no,_"I w-was thinking about how, um, I hadn't eaten d-dinner-dinner, and it's half off at Jungle and if you needed to eat too, you could come with me."

The last part of that sentence came out in a rush, but the redhead was proud of the fact he was able to string together a coherent thought.

"Oh..." Roxas looked slightly uncomfortable, and Axel's heart sank another few inches. He knew that,'oh'. That was the 'oh, the weirdo redhead actually wants to be friends, but I've just been talking to him to be polite and now this is super awkward' kind of oh's.

"See, the thing is..." Axel wanted to tell him it was all right, to forget it, just so he didn't have to hear some lame excuse, but was too afraid of how it would come out of his mouth if he tried. "I'm a vegetarian."

Roxas looked somewhat embarrassed, his gaze off to the side. Axel's mouth hung open in mild shock. "Yeah, I know. Guy vegetarian, real manly, right? But something about meat is just so gross and..."

"Me too." Axel blurted out, blue eyes meeting his green ones. "Th-there's veggie burritos."

"Really? _Sweet._" Roxas smiled again. "Lead on then, good sir. My stomach is probably going to digest itself pretty soon."

Axel grinned for the first time that day.

* * *

><p>The redhead had practically <em>skipped<em> the whole way back to his apartment from his late dinner with Roxas, and if he was any more of a fruitcake, he probably would have fucking _danced_. It had been such a long time since he'd hung out with anyone outside of his small circle of friends and the evening had been refreshing. The best was that, to him, it almost felt like a _date._

Which, of course, he knew it wasn't. Firstly, because they were still in their work uniforms. Secondly, they both paid for their own food (although Axel had thought about offering, but couldn't muster up the courage). Finally, thirdly, there was no way in hell Roxas thought of him like that.

That, however, didn't matter. What mattered was that they'd gone someplace outside of work together and Roxas had laughed, more than once, and Axel was almost certain that it was with him, not at him.

_Fuck yeah!_

His umpteenth failed interview was practically forgotten as he unlocked the door to his apartment that he shared with his two flat mates. As the door opened, a cloud of smoke smacked him in the face, enough to get a mild contact high, and Axel's senses were assaulted with that overly familiar smell.

Demyx and Zexion. Your friendly neighborhood potheads.

There was some blitzball on the TV, and obviously Demyx was high enough to think of himself as a sports analyst.

"Oh, hey! Ax!" The sandy blonde turned bloodshot eyes on him. "Your sister called earlier."

"Wh-what did she, uh, want?" Axel struggled with that sentence. His sister always put him a bit on edge.

"I don't know, man. Zex answered the phone." Demyx turned to his dark haired companion, who was currently staring off into space. "Yo, Zex! What did Kairi want earlier?"

"Shhh! Dude. I'm having an epiphany." Zexion waved him off, still absurdly focused on the opposite wall. "I need a fucking sandwich."

Axel chuckled to himself and decided he'd just call her in the morning to find out what she needed. Why she always decided to phone him when she knew he would be at work, was a mystery.

The redhead briefly went about his nightly rituals, before changing into some sweats and climbing onto the lumpy futon bed, the only thing big enough to accommodate his lanky frame. He listened to his friends arguing out in the living room and rolled over, tugging the covers over his head.

He smiled into his pillow thinking about Roxas and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

><p><em>Boom! Chapter finished. Hope you liked it.<em>


	2. Chapter 2

_Next chapter! I'm going away this weekend, so I decided to post this a little early._

_Same warnings as the last chapter still apply._

_Enjoy!_

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><p>Wednesdays were rough. Zexion, as usual, had to be up early to get to his job at the library across town and Demyx had early lessons to give, which meant he was also out of the house before nine.<p>

This left Axel alone until he had to go to his shift at the cinema. The redhead spent the morning milling about like he usually did, straightening this, cleaning that, moving things back into the proper place, until he remembered that he was supposed to call Kairi.

He stared at the phone, wondering if she had something important to say, or she just wanted to nag at him again. His older sister drove him nuts, she really did, but she only meant the best.

Kairi was of the belief, that if Axel would just try a _little bit_ harder, he would "get over most of his problems." What she couldn't understand was that he'd been like this his whole life, and it's not like this was how he wanted to be. He'd tried therapy, but after their parents died, well...then it didn't work anymore.

Axel was stuck like he was, and he'd been living that way long enough to accept the fact that that was how he was going to stay. Forever.

He huffed to himself, picking up the phone.

"Hello?" Kairi's pleasant voice filtered through the line.

"H-hi."

"Who may I ask is calling?" There was a slight edge to her voice now, and Axel gripped the phone a little tighter. He knew his sister had caller ID on her cell phone. This meant that he knew that she knew that he was him, and now Kairi was just testing him. Like she always did.

"I-it-it's Axel." He hated himself for getting stuck on that first word and losing her little game.

"Oh, Axel. I've been waiting to hear from you." She, surprisingly, didn't mention his slip up and her tone was light and cheerful again. "Did you get my message?"

"Not, uh, really. D-dem just said you had called." He was relaxing bit by bit.

"Well, I have some exciting news for you!"

_Great._

"My boyfriend, do you remember Sora? Well anyway," Axel hated when people asked him a question and then answered themselves, assuming he didn't have anything to say. It was especially worse when it was his sister. "Sora is fairly high up at Destiny Designs and he said that he could get you a job there!"

Axel's heart stopped. _The _Destiny Designs? That place was fantastic. It was one of the few firms that he hadn't tried applying at, assuming he'd never have a chance.

"Wh-what would, um, I be doing?"

"Does it really matter? It'd get you out of that dump you work at now, and the pay has to be better than whatever peanuts you're making." _Ouch._ That had stung a little, but Kairi was only being honest. "So what should I tell him? Can you make it over there for a courtesy interview tomorrow?"

There was a small part of him that wanted to be spiteful and say _no_, but the rational parts of his psyche squashed that impulse. He really needed this, and if taking a favor from his sister was what it took, so be it.

"Uh, yeah. When?"

"Axel, full sentences. I'll tell him you'll be there around ten, sound good?"

"Th-that sounds great."

"Fantastic. Well, have a good day baby brother, don't embarrass me tomorrow."

Axel hung up the phone and collapsed on the couch, drained from the conversation.

* * *

><p>"Hey, can I ask you something?"<p>

"Uh, sure."

Axel was sitting with Roxas in the windowless staff room at the cinema, enjoying their twenty minutes off of their feet. The blonde was digging into a bucket of popcorn that he had nabbed from concessions, his small fingers covered in salt and butter. Axel sipped from his water, _really_ hoping that Roxas didn't try to touch him.

"Are you gonna be busy tomorrow night? You have off too, right?" He got distracted once Roxas started licking his fingers, which had him rethinking whether or not he'd want to touch the blonde.

"Yeah." His eyes fixed on a sliver of a pink tongue that darted out to get to more of the sodium filled buttery goodness.

"Yeah, what? Yeah you're busy or yeah you have off?" Roxas smirked at him, but it wasn't condescending.

"Yeah, um, I have off. N-no, I'm not busy." Axel redirected his gaze to Roxas's eyes, finding his mouth making it hard to focus.

"OK, so my buddy, Hayner, was supposed to go to this concert with me, but now he bailed so that he can hang out with Olette, and I was wondering if you would want to go?" Roxas decided that his hands were thoroughly licked and proceeded to wipe his palms on his thighs, making Axel wince.

It took a moment for what Roxas had said to sink in to his brain, but when it did, Axel felt his ears heat up.

_Roxas wants to hang out with me._

The thought made him giddy.

"Gaia to Axel, helloooo?" Roxas was waving a hand in front of his face and snapping his fingers.

"Oh, um, sorry. But, yeah." The flush from his ears spread down his neck, and Axel prayed to whatever gods were listening that Roxas wouldn't see.

"Yeah you'll go?" He nodded. "Great! I hope you like to mosh."

Axel gulped.

* * *

><p>Axel stood outside of another sleek building, very modern, crafted in different light textures with sloping lines. He liked it all ready. He'd woken up five hours early to ensure that he wouldn't be late this time.<p>

He walked into the airy lobby, hardly believing that luck was _finally_ on his side. Today was the day he got a real job and life turned around. When he walked up to the receptionist, he felt a little bit of confidence bubbling in his chest.

"Hi. I-I'm Ax-"

"Axel!" The redhead turned to see the familiar figure of Sora practically bounding towards him, sky blue eyes bright as usual and brunette spikes pointing every which way. "Good to see you. Follow me and I'll take you down to Xiggy."

_Down? Xiggy?_

They boarded a small service elevator and Axel's confusion reached new peaks. Sora exited on basement level two, and lead the way down a small cramped hallway to a wooden door with a small sign.

Xigbar Braig, Janitor.

_Oh...oh, no..._

Axel doubted that Sora had meant to deceive him, the guy was too likable. No, this reeked of Kairi. She manipulated him to come down for this interview, just so that he wouldn't be able to complain that no one ever helped him.

"Uh, S-sora?" Axel placed a large, warm hand on the smaller man's shoulder, stopping him from knocking on the door.

"What is it Axel?" Sora cocked his head to the side and looked up at him quizzically.

"K-kairi, um, that is, s-she didn't, wha-what I mean is..." Axel couldn't get the words to come out, the knot of disappointment tightening around his throat too constrictive.

"_Oh,_" Sora's eyes widened with understanding. "Oh, gods, I'm so sorry Ax! I thought she explained to you, Xigbar is just looking for an assistant."

_A janitor's assistant, and I have a college degree. Could I sink any lower?_

"Um, i-it's fine. I think I'll j-just-"

"What the fuck is going on out here?" A man with a salt and pepper pony tail, an eye patch, and a wicked scar poked his head out of the office into the hallway.

"Hey, Xigbar. This is Axel, but he's-"

"This the one that I'm supposed to be hiring? Well, get your ass in here." The man roughly reached forward and tugged Axel in by the collar of his shirt, slamming the door on a very alarmed Sora. "Sit."

Axel followed the gruff command without thinking and hugged his portfolio to his chest. The office was a catastrophe. There were papers scattered all over the desk and floor, and files poking out the cabinet in the corner. There were rings from coffee mugs on every piece of furniture and cleaning supplies were strewn about at random.

Axel felt like he was going to have a heart attack.

"So! Sora said you're reliable and you've got the DOC or some shit that makes you good at cleaning..."

"O-OCD."

"Whatever, man." Xigbar waved him off carelessly. "You've got the job, if you want it. Here's the official details."

The man had indicated a sheet of paper sitting on top of the rest, and Axel's eyebrows shot into his hair when he looked at it. He'd have health benefits _and_ be making twelve munny per hour? That was almost double the eight munny he was making at the cinema. Axel scanned the rest of the sheet, not too worried about things like their retirement plan (hoping to the gods that he wouldn't be working there _that _long).

"So, you in?" Xigbar leaned in closer, and his scar looked even more nasty, but Axel couldn't really complain. He had scars of his own.

"Y-yeah." Axel nodded. "W-when do I-do I start?"

"Tomorrow good enough for you? Nine to five?"

Another nod.

"Good. Any more questions?" Xigbar looked at him critically with his single eye.

"Yeah. Um, weekends?" Axel's throat was getting dry.

"As if!" The older man snorted in indignation. "Dude, we only work Monday through Friday."

"O-OK." Axel nodded nervously, really needing to get out of the cramped space.

"Anything else?" Axel shook his head. "Good, now buzz off."

* * *

><p>For the rest of the day, Axel sulked around the apartment. Happy that he'd be making a decent amount of munny, but hating the fact that he still wouldn't be doing what he loved. He had most definitely <em>not<em> cried, even though he was alone and if he had cried no one would ever know but him and it's not like he'd fucking announce it, but still. He _totally _didn't cry.

He still felt like a failure, but when he looked at his watch to see that it was almost six o'clock, he remembered that he had plans to go out with Roxas that night.

Wait.

_I'm going out with Roxas tonight._

In a panic he tore through his closet, finding nothing suitable to wear to a concert, eventually ramming on Demyx's door to explain his predicament in very broken English accompanied by many wild hand gestures. Dem, for his part, was ecstatic his friend had a date, and went about dressing Axel in tight black jeans, slightly scuffed bright purple tennis shoes, and a tshirt with a band on it he'd never heard of.

Axel felt the closest to being cool as he had in his whole life.

"Get it, buddy." Demyx slapped his ass on the way out of the apartment, to the sound of Zexion's wolf-whistles, grinning like a fool.

He had a date with a hot blonde.

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><p><em>How's it looking so far? Let me know. Review please.<em>


	3. Chapter 3

_So._

_ I fail at weekly updates. _

_But I'll try and edit this story and get it posted as often as I can. _

_I still own nothing._

_Enjoy!_

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><p>When Roxas had said he'd be picking Axel up from his apartment at seven thirty, this wasn't exactly what the redhead had in mind. He didn't expect the blonde to be waiting there at the curb astride a bright blue moped. Axel spotted Roxas first, and a part of him wanted to bolt back to the apartment, pretend this never happened, and avoid Roxas for the rest of his life. A million images flashed through his brain of all the horrific accidents that could happen on that scooter, and his feet didn't seem to want to carry him forward to his death or backward to his humiliation.<p>

"Hey! C'mon!" Roxas waved to him, and then patted the seat behind him. Axel's mind was very suddenly made up, and he strode forward, excepting the helmet from the blonde, and settled in behind the smaller man. Roxas grinned, and grabbed onto both of Axel's wrists so that he could wrap thin arms around his waist. "Hang on!"

They went speeding off at maximum scooter capacity. Axel had no time to think about the bugs that they could run into, or how Roxas was splitting atoms with the other, much larger, vehicles on the road, because they were sitting so close, and he had his arms around that petite waist, and _oh my gods I'm touching Roxas._

They wove through city streets, and it appeared that Roxas felt traffic laws didn't apply to him. The scooter darted into an alleyway and Roxas killed the engine. He hopped off and started to secure a lock while Axel commanded his body parts to become solid again and stop feeling like jello.

"Here." Roxas leaned forward to pluck the helmet off of his head, and ruffled disheveled red hair in what may, or may not, have been a gesture that was more than friendly.

Axel willed himself to stand and followed his friend into the side entrance of _Club Wonderland_, wondering if this was real life.

* * *

><p>The music was loud, filled with bass and guitar and more auxiliary instruments than were strictly necessary. The band was called "Alice and the March Hares" and they weren't exactly Axel's cup of tea. The tall redhead sat at the bar, looking out into the moshing crowd below, occasionally catching a flash of blonde among the wild limbs.<p>

He was drinking soda, because he was lame, and afraid that if he drank any alcohol he'd only make a bigger fool of himself than he already was.

"Thank you!" The little blond woman, Alice he presumed, screamed into the microphone. The band had finished their first set and were filtering off the stage.

"They're really good, huh?" Roxas plopped himself on the stool next to him and waved down the bartender.

"Uh, I g-guess." Axel wasn't a huge fan, but he didn't want to sound like a buzz kill.

"Yeah. Alice is my cousin, they used to suck big time, but now it's almost starting to sound like music." Roxas grinned and took a sip from something that looked tropical and entirely too sweet. "So, where do you want to go now?"

"You're not-not sticking around?" Axel raised an eyebrow.

"Naw. My familial obligation is complete, and I'm afraid I might get a black eye before they finish the second half, it's crazy down there." The blonde downed the rest of his drink. "You didn't want to go home, did you?"

"No." Axel blurted quickly, setting his empty glass down on the bar.

"Awesome. Let's get something to eat." Roxas led the way out of the club, weaving through the chattering crowds, out into the cool night air. He set a meandering pace down the sidewalk, and Axel wished that he wasn't so _godsdamed _a_wkward_ for just one minute. "So, Axel. Where do you go to school?"

"Um," Axel realized that he'd never had this conversation with the blonde, and almost all the information he knew about Roxas was second hand, making him feel more than a little creepy. "I gr-graduated from Radiant Garden."

"Really? What're you doing working at the stupid movie theater then?" Roxas looked at him quizzically.

"Hav-having some trouble finding-finding a, um, a job." Axel was glad that it was dark out as the embarrassed blush crept up his neck.

"Oh. Yeah, economy is rough." Roxas nodded sagely. "What was your major?"

"Architecture and Design." Axel was unused to people talking to him for this long. It was different. A good different. "Uh, what-what about you?"

"Me? I'm gonna graduate in a couple months myself, from HBU. Psychology." Roxas laughed lightly to himself. "I'm praying that I get into the grad school there, or I'll be joining you for the hunt."

Axel smiled a little, glad that Roxas was blaming the economy for his stupid lifestyle. They turned a corner, and up ahead, the redhead recognized his favorite diner. Seventh Heaven.

"C-c'mon." He dared to reach down and grab Roxas's hand, noticing how soft his skin was, and how perfectly that tiny hand fit into his larger one, and how the blonde didn't try to pull away.

"Axel!" Tifa was alone inside, save for Yuffie, and they were both absently cleaning.

"H-hi." Axel greeted her warmly. He liked Tifa, and if he was straight he would've had a massive crush on her.

"Haven't seen you in a while." Tifa leaned over the counter as Axel and Roxas sat down. "The usual?"

"Yeah."

"And for you?" The buxom brunette's attention turned to Roxas.

"Hmm, whatever he's having is fine."

"Coming right up!" Tifa winked at them, and then dragged a protesting Yuffie back to the kitchen.

Roxas chuckled lightly to himself and started playing with the sugar packets on the counter.

"So, uh, when you're not head-head banging or, um, work-working, what do you do?" Axel was determined to keep the conversation flowing, having had enough silences to last a lifetime.

"Oh, you know. Study, bum around. I go to the skate park a lot." Roxas rotated back and forth in his spinning chair. "You?"

"Uh," _I sit around my apartment reorganizing and obsessing over details, and sometimes I watch my roommates get blazed._ "S-same kind of stuff. No-no skateboarding."

Roxas laughed lightly, "Yeah, you don't really seem the type."

Axel grinned, somehow knowing that Roxas wasn't trying to make fun of him, which was something new.

"Two Axel specials!" Yuffie's high pitched voice interrupted them as she placed two plates down on the counter.

"What..." Roxas poked the food on his plate, "what the hell _is this?"_

Axel had already started to dig in and swallowed a huge lump of food. "It-it's good."

"You know," Roxas started cutting into his mickey-mouse shaped chocolate chip pancakes, "you're kinda a funny sort of guy."

Axel shrugged, but he didn't miss the little smile that was on the blonde's face, nor did he miss the fact that his companion started eating as ravenously as him.

* * *

><p>Change was always a challenge. Especially for Axel. There seemed to be something about the idea of doing something that changed his daily routine that made his mind snap into a thousand pieces, and his entire existence shatter. It should've been easy to wake up that Friday, walk to the bus station, go to his new job, and act like a normal person.<p>

That wasn't exactly how things went.

Axel was late, but he didn't really mean to be late. Then again, Axel didn't mean for a lot of things to happen.

He'd woken up two hours early, hoping that maybe he'd be able to fight off his neurosis in that time and be at Xigbar's janitor's office before nine. It's just that he'd had to remake his bed more than once (seven times) because the idea of it being out of order all day would be like an itch at the back of his brain, and he'd needed to move the living room furniture around because something about it just looked _wrong,_ and one sock was a different shade of white than the other, and things just weren't going his way. When the redhead had finally made it to the Destiny Designs office building, he had to go to the bathroom to wash his hands, because he'd had to stand on the bus and touch one of the bars, and now his hands probably had diseases or germs or bacteria or something.

By the time he was making it down the hallway to Xigbar's office, Axel was almost forty minutes late, and he was beyond flustered and completely positive that he was going to be fired before he even started.

"What the _fuck_, kid?" Xigbar was rolling a cart full of cleaning supplies out of one of the many closets lining the hallway.

"I-I-I'm, uh, s-sorry." Axel stood, shifting his weight from foot to foot, his eyes fixed pointedly at the floor.

"Why the hell are you so late?" Xigbar strode up to him, until there were maybe six inches between them, clearly fuming.

Axel flinched back and unconsciously shoved his hands into the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt. "I, um, I had to wash-wash my h-hands."

He could hear how lame that excuse sounded, but it was impossible to explain the real reason he was late, because even he didn't really understand. Xigbar furrowed his eyebrows and snatched one of Axel's wrists, pulling his hand free. It was red, raw, and bleeding in a couple places around the finger nails. The older man's eyebrows flew up his forehead, releasing Axel when he realized how tense the redhead was.

Axel wanted to bolt, run away and hide in a hole where no one would ever find him and he'd never have to come out.

"All right. Here." Xigbar handed him a company ID card. "Grab the cart, kid."

Axel gaped.

"C'mon, Ginger. I'm not gonna wait _all_ day." Xigbar was already heading towards the elevator.

Axel quickly put on the lanyard with his new ID card and ran to get the cart.

* * *

><p>His first day had been better than he could have hoped. Xigbar was crass and rude and obnoxious, but he was pleasant towards Axel (or at least as pleasant as the man was capable of being). He was glad that he didn't have to work at the cinema that night, having switched himself to all weekend shifts. He figured maybe he could save up some money for a car or a cell phone or something.<p>

Axel smiled to himself. Roxas had been horrified when he found out the redhead didn't have a cell phone. (_What? Everyone else on the planet has one! Where have you been?) _Maybe if he had one, Roxas would text him. That'd be cool.

He struggled with the door to his apartment for a minute, his hands not willing to cooperate, and finally made his way inside. His roommates were, predictably, sprawled over the furniture, an empty pizza box on the coffee table and sitcom reruns playing on the TV. Axel went to the kitchen to grab a soda and settled in next to Zexion on the couch.

"Hey, did you move shit around again?" Zexion fixed him with bleary silver eyes.

"Y-yeah."

"_Nice_." A lazy grin spread across Zex's face that would have never been present if he was sober. "It has a certain feng shui about it."

"Dude." Demyx flailed at him randomly. "We're gonna hit up the bar with Larx later, you game?"

"N-no thanks." Axel laughed and lifted his blonde friend back into the love seat before he cracked his head on the table...again.

"Whatevs. Oh! How was that date?" Demyx twisted in the seat so that his legs were where his head should be and his head was where his ass should be, fixing Axel with a lewd grin.

"Uh, i-it was, um, it was OK." Axel could feel the goofy smile on his face.

"That good, huh?" Demyx started laughing, so Zexion started laughing, and Axel started laughing, because it was kind of contagious, or maybe the fumes were going to his head.

* * *

><p><em>Please review! <em>


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey! Read this._

_Thanks to the reviewers, especially ones that get me to think._

_So some quick explaining. I thought of this fic because it seems in almost everything I read, Roxas is portrayed as the awkward one. So I decided to change that up and throw in a speech impediment and an anxiety disorder._

_I'm terrible._

_In regards to the actual OCD, I try to convey Axel's thought processes and how as his stress level increases his ability to suppress his compulsions decreases. When he's in an environment that doesn't freak him out, he's less anxiety ridden and less likely to give in, even if the thoughts are still there._

_I'm not going to pretend to be an expert in psychology, because that is very far from the truth. I apologize if there are some things that aren't totally realistic._

_But, hey. It's just a fanfic. Let's all cross our fingers and hope these two fools end up together at the end._

_Please keep sending such great and thoughtful reviews!_

_Enjoy! _

* * *

><p><em>This sucks.<em>

It was Saturday night, and someone had called in sick, so Axel had been stuck in the ticket booth. Not his favorite place. Anything that required him to interact with costumers for any length of time was a _bad_ idea. The girl that was there with him, Paine, wasn't really his favorite person either. She was brooding and kept shooting him weird looks, which didn't help.

He'd been laughed at by a group of teenagers, had several couples roll their eyes at him, been told to "spit it out", had one mother who was clearly running late accuse him of wasting her time, laughed at by another group of teenagers, and generally harassed.

By the time he got his twenty minute break after four hours, he felt like crap. Axel collapsed into one of the flimsy chairs in the staff room and allowed his head to connect solidly with the table.

"Hang in there soldier." Roxas's hand tugged his pony tail.

Axel turned his head to see the blonde seated next to him, tonight munching on stolen pretzel bits.

"T-thanks." Axel forced a smile.

"You busy tomorrow night?" Roxas offered him a pretzel, which he declined.

"No."

"Wanna come to my place and watch a movie or something? My roommate is home for the weekend." Roxas said this all nonchalantly, like discussing the weather. Axel felt his eyes widen in mild shock, straightening up.

"Uh, yeah." Axel finally choked out, hardly believing this was happening.

"Cool."

* * *

><p>The HBU campus was fairly dead, most of the students holed away for some much needed sleep, or off hitting the bars. Axel felt kind of out of place, but he always felt that way. He'd spent the whole day obsessing over his appearance, and was more clean than he'd ever been in his whole life, which was saying something.<p>

Most of his dating experiences had been set ups by his friends, and he'd only had one kiss, which was with Demyx when they were both piss drunk, so that didn't count. Axel didn't really know what exactly he was to the blonde, and for all practical purposes, Roxas might just think they're friends. He really, _really _hoped there was more to it than that.

He got mildly lost for a few minutes because all the plain brick dorm complexes looked virtually the same, but eventually Axel found himself outside Roxas's room, 138B, west Pride Hall. The redhead took a few deep breaths and readjusted the leather gloves he'd been wearing to hide his hands, then knocked.

"Hey!" A very bright looking Roxas answered, dressed in sweats and an oversized t shirt. "Good timing. I just made popcorn."

"Uh, cool." Axel followed the blonde in and shut the door behind him.

It was fairly easy to tell which side of the room belonged to Roxas. There were posters of different bands, pictures of Roxas on the beach with his friends, the bed had a blue comforter covered in stars, and several pairs of skating shoes and a white skateboard were messily shoved under the bed. The other side of the room was done mostly in camouflage with several posters with something called "Struggle" plastered about.

Axel was itching to reorganize the books scattered around the desks, but refrained.

"C'mon." Roxas hopped up onto his bed, and Axel settled in next to him, his long legs still able to touch the ground. "So, horror, comedy, or action?"

"Um, h-horror."

"Good choice. I've got _Nightmare on Memory's Skyscraper."_ Roxas leaned forward to put the DVD into the small TV sitting on the refrigerator at the end of the bed. He placed a giant bowl of popcorn between them and glued his eyes to the screen.

Axel shifted nervously, and his eyes kept switching between the movie and Roxas. He was wondering if the lack of conversation was normal, but he figured maybe Roxas liked to be quiet during movies.

They sat together, Roxas munching away, Axel fidgeting and carefully inching closer. An axe murderer darted across the screen, making the blonde jump and grab onto Axel's knee. That was awesome.

By the time the movie was finished, Roxas was almost glued to his side, and Axel was hyper aware of the buttery fingers that touched his shirt, but he wrapped an arm around his companion and decided he'd just clean it three times later.

"Whoa. That was some sick shit." Roxas leaned forward and started to exchange the DVDs. "I think we need a comedy after that."

"Prob-probably." Axel grinned a little and suppressed a chuckle.

"Hey, are you laughing at me?" Roxas quirked an eyebrow.

"Wha-what? No." Axel couldn't stop grinning. "Maybe j-just a little."

His answer was a pillow to the face, and the two had an impromptu war in which Roxas won because he had more artillery.

"Do you yield?" Roxas was straddling his hips, throw pillow held threateningly overhead.

"Y-yes." Axel put on a mock terrified expression.

"Say I'm the champion."

"You-you're the champ-champ-champ...you win." Axel rolled his eyes at himself. Roxas smirked and flopped to the side.

Axel looked up to see that their second movie was a cartoon, _The Aristocats._ "R-really Roxas?"

"Hey! Back off mister Mickey Mouse pancakes." Roxas punched him lightly in the upper arm, grinning.

"Whoa. D-don't be hating on the m-mouse." Axel flicked the blonde on the forehead, adopting a scolding tone.

"Oh, whatever." Roxas laughed, and then Axel laughed because it was contagious, or maybe the endorphins were going to his head.

* * *

><p>It was difficult to understand <em>why<em> adults that were _professionals_ were unable to _flush the fucking toilet._ Xigbar had put Axel on bathroom duty and the redhead was scrubbing away, rubber gloves and face mask firmly in place, trying not to gag and suppressing the desire to flay his own skin.

The time was Friday, at 4:45 in the afternoon and he only had to endure this torture for another quarter hour. His new job kind of sucked, but at this rate, he'd be able to afford a cell phone and calling plan in a couple weeks. That meant that he'd be able to text with Roxas, which almost made flushing used toilets, cleaning urinals, and taking two hour showers after work worth it.

He also had the added benefit of being able to pay off his portion of the rent and utilities with money instead of promising Zexion favors, or giving Demyx an IOU, or the ever humiliating act of having to ask his sister for help because he was too much of a loser to make ends meet. Life was looking up, for the most part. His night in Roxas's dorm had been fun and fantastic and wonderful beyond comprehension, but Axel was still unsure if they were just friends. They'd horsed around, and by some definitions they cuddled, but none of that was indisputable evidence that Roxas was interested.

_Maybe I should ask Dem about this._

Reading other people had always been difficult for Axel, because he tended to overanalyze maybe just a little bit too much. There was also the fact that the mere idea of someone such as Roxas liking Axel as anything greater than a friend was laughable.

"You're lookin' kinda down, kid." Xigbar observed, leaning casually against the sink counter, and ignoring the way Axel almost jumped to the ceiling. "Then again, you're always lookin' kinda down."

The redhead attempted to discreetly take a couple of deep breaths, startled by the older man's sudden appearance. He opened his mouth to reply, and then promptly closed it, realizing he didn't really know what to say to that.

"Hmph. Whatever, man." Xigbar shook his head, and started gathering up cleaning supplies. "Get outta here. Go have a few drinks or find a girl or something. Cheer up, Ginger."

"O-okay." Axel grinned slightly.

* * *

><p><em>How did I end up outside?<em>

It was a little cold out for springtime, and Axel was really wishing he had a jacket. His confusion was answered when he looked down to the cup in his right hand.

_I'm drunk._

Somehow, Demyx had talked both his roommates into going out to a party at their mutual friend's apartment, and Axel had taken his boss's advice and had a few drinks. He was currently standing out on the porch, with their hostess, finishing off his, fifth (_seventh?_) beer. They were at the eleventh story, and he had to admit, the view was almost worth the slight chill.

"Haven't seen you around lately." Larxene lit two cigarettes and handed him one. "You've been a real stranger."

Axel starred bemusedly at the cigarette. He'd quit more than a year ago, but every once in a while Larxene would find a way to talk him into smoking with her so she "wouldn't be standing alone outside like a loser," but only when he was truly sloshed. He took a long drag, and glanced over at the blonde woman, catching her calculating stare.

"W-w-wh-what?" It was getting harder to form words. He should stop soon.

"Something is bothering you." Larxene raised one harsh pencil thin eyebrow and sipped from her mystery drink in a mason jar. "Out with it. I hate it when you brood, probably why nobody has seen you."

"Hmm." Axel nodded, and vaguely in the back of his mind realized he should probably not talk about Roxas in this state. "I-I met some-someone."

"Oh?" Larxene smirked, now slightly more interested. "And?"

"Well, uh, I l-like him." Axel downed the remainder of his drink and absently ashed his cigarette.

"Facinating. What are you going to do about it?"

"N-no idea."

"Well, my dear stuttering fool," Larxene pitched her smoke over the railing. "you should do something. Ask him on a date. Confess you undying love. Get trashed and fuck him like a monkey. Because if you don't do anything, I'll have to listen to your whining."

She turned on her heel, and flung open the sliding glass door, stepping into the warm apartment filled with loud music. Axel smirked to himself, leisurely enjoying his time outside, considering his friends wise words, and plotting how he would find a way home.

"Dude!" Demyx's exuberant and not at all sober face popped out of the open doorway. "Shots! C'mon."

"N-no, I-I-I sh-sh-"

"C'mon man, just one."

* * *

><p>Drinking was a terrible idea. Drinking was always a terrible idea. Especially when he had to work the matinee shift at the theater the next morning. Axel had woken up, miraculously in his own apartment tangled with Demyx and Zexion on the couch, several empty water bottles scattered about as their pathetic attempt to avoid a hangover that morning.<p>

It didn't work.

Axel mostly remembered everything, but the end of the night was incredibly fuzzy. In the place of his lost memories he'd been granted with a reverberating pound that echoed not just in his head, but in all of his limbs as well. The world also didn't seem to want to stop spinning sickeningly and his try at breakfast had ended up in the toilet bowl three minutes later.

He left that morning, too out of it and feeling sick to go about his usual routine of losing his mind before he had to leave the apartment. Zexion was just waking up as he opened the front door and sent him a pitying look. Axel dragged ass all the way to the theater, and about a block away became aware that he forgot to shower or brush his teeth, which was unfortunate, and left him wondering if he'd still been drunk that morning and not just hung over.

By the merciful grace of the gods he'd been scheduled as an usher. He spent the first three hours of his shift absently cleaning theaters, and observed with some detachment that he wasn't doing that great of a job. When his fifteen minute break finally rolled around, Axel just wanted to die, to take a shower, and then to _die_.

He rested his head against the cool surface of the staff room table and slowly sipped from his water bottle using a straw.

"Hey, you all right?"

Axel's bleary eyes shifted to the source of the noise, and to his embarrassment, it was Roxas. He was aware that he looked like shit, probably smelled like it too, and the blonde was the last person he wanted seeing him like this.

"Uh, y-yeah."

"You're looking kinda sick." Roxas's eyes shone with genuine concern, and that lifted Axel's spirits minutely. "Why didn't you call in?"

"Oh, um, well, I-I'm fine. Not actually, uh, sick." Axel was always a terrible liar.

"What do you mean you're not..." Understanding dawned on the younger man. "Oh, you're hung over? Geez, it's two o'clock in the afternoon, how much did you have?"

"A b-bit."

Roxas laughed heartily at that. "Man, I didn't know you were a party animal."

"N-not usually. Just wh-when I want to b-be." Axel smirked, feeling slightly better.

"Nice." Roxas grinned at him and opened his stolen box of junior mints.

Axel declined the offered chocolates, his stomach rolling in protest at the mere thought, and sat up, trying to appear as slightly less of a total mess. In the back of his mind, something clicked and he remembered a very inebriated conversation he'd had with his roommates less than twelve hours ago.

_"Dude. You have to go for it, this guy is totally into you, I can smell it." Demyx stumbled to his right, catching onto a streetlamp before falling into traffic._

_"Sm-smell it?" Axel wanted to reach for his friend and bring pull him a safer distance from the road, but he was busy carrying a rather wasted and sleepy Zexion piggyback style._

_"Yeah, man, smell it! Springtime love is totally in the fucking air." The sandy blonde flailed about gesturing wildly. "You have to, like, show him you're interested."_

_"How?"_

_"Bring 'im over." Zexion mumbled into Axel's untamed hair, apparently not quite blacked out yet._

_"Exactly! You have to take some initiative." _

_"Nice use of vocabulary."_

_"Thanks, Zex."_

"So...uh..." Axel decided he would take his friend's advice, he would show Roxas that he wanted to be more than friends, he would listen to Larxene, he would not chicken out and be a coward. Those big blue eyes locked with his and Axel swallowed a lump of anxiety that was building in his chest. "Wh-what are you do-doing tomorrow?"

"Nothing planned." Roxas shrugged tipping the rest of his stolen candies into his mouth.

"In-incorrect." The blonde quirked an eyebrow. "You'll be ha-hanging out with, uh, with me."

For one moment, one terrible moment, Roxas just stared at him. Suddenly Axel was hyper-aware of the fact he hadn't showered that morning and his really awful case of cotton-mouth and the terrible sensation that he needed to run or flee or sit in a shower for the rest of forever because something was crawling beneath his skin and this was a terrible idea and he shouldn't have said anything because that might have been too forward and this idea was stupid, it was stupid and he was stupid and when he looked up at Roxas he was...

He was smiling. Inexplicably the blonde sitting across the table with sticky fingers and amazing eyes was smiling at _him._

"All right."

And finally Axel's brain shut up.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks for reading!<em>


	5. Chapter 5

_Here is chapter five! I'm updating like crazy. _

_Suddenly I'm feeling inspired, maybe it's all the great reviews._

_Also, side note. Larxene is really hard to write. She's supposed to be Axel's friend in this fic, so I don't want to write her as too much of a bitch, but she is supposed to be kind of mean. Cause, c'mon, she's Larxene._

_She's difficult._

_Anyway, enjoy!_

* * *

><p>His friends were really fantastic.<p>

Axel had come home the night before and immediately (well, not quite immediately, right after he'd showered for an hour and a half and brushed his teeth for fifteen minutes, but _then_) announced that he'd successfully asked Roxas over to their apartment. Demyx and Zexion had congratulated him enthusiastically, then put out the joint they'd been sharing because the entire living room _reeked_ of marijuana.

That morning, the whole apartment had been cleaned to within an inch of its life and Axel's roommates did their usual routine to hide their exploits with illegal substances. This consisted of Zexion strategically placing fans throughout the living room and moving their stash from between the cushions in the sofa to a shoe box under his bed, while Demyx did his "febreeze dance", which was the same dance he did anytime his parents came to visit and involved approximately three bottles of air-freshener, loud latin music, and the blonde running around like a madman for a couple of hours.

Larxene had come over to instruct Axel on the proper technique for making a fancy vegetarian pasta dish, because he was hopeless in the kitchen and needed some serious help. His usual diet was mostly made up of cereal, mac and cheese, and takeout, but according to Larx, if he really wanted to impress Roxas, chinese take away wasn't going to cut it.

His friend was perched on the countertop, drinking from a box of white wine (Axel didn't understand how she could be drinking, when after the night before the thought of alcohol made his liver hurt) and barking orders to the fumbling redhead.

"In the pot it goes!" Larxene held out a large saucepan and Axel dumped in the various herbs and vegetables he'd chopped up. "Stir that for ten minutes."

He accepted the spoon from his friend and carefully stirred around the sauce while it simmered on the stovetop.

"So..." Larxene leveled him with a stare.

"Hmm?"

"What's special about this guy?"

"Wh-what do you, um, mean?"

"Well, you don't usually go through this much trouble. Usually you pussy out before you even start a conversation with someone." Larx finished her wine and moved to the sink to rinse out her glass. "So, why him?"

"Uh, I-I guess it's th-that...um..." Axel thought to himself for a moment, thinking of all the things that made Roxas amazing. "Well, he n-noticed me."

"And?" Larx raised an eyebrow at him, prompting him to continue.

"Wh-when everyone else ignores me, he-he treats me l-like a real person. L-like I'm not a-not a freak or-or something." Once he started thinking of everything he liked about Roxas the list grew exponentially. "We laugh a lot, and, uh, he-he's funny and kind, and-and he listens when I t-talk, and, well, um, he's very, uh, v-very..."

"Attractive?" She smirked.

"Yeah." Axel could feel his ears heating up.

"He must really be something then." Larxene patted his arm and took control of the spoon. "I'll finish this, you go make yourself sexy."

"Oh p-please. Sexy is my-my natural state." Axel received a light smack on the arm for his comment and grinned.

Out in the living room, the dance had, apparently, been a success. The room now smelled of an interesting mixture of "lavender fresh" and "brazilian fiesta". Demyx and Zexion were planted on the couch, playing through a level of some blitzball game.

"Uh, do y-you guys have p-plans tonight?" Axel was suddenly nervous of his roommates sticking around all evening. Not that he was afraid of Roxas meeting his friends, it would just be a little difficult to have a date with a background commentary from the peanut gallery all night.

"Yeah, don't worry, buddy." Demyx jammed a complicated series of buttons and his blitzball player zoomed across the screen. "We're going to some club with Larx."

"Once we beat this level." Zexion countered Demyx, leaning slightly to his right, as if that would assist his in-game player.

"C-cool. Thanks for, uh, cleaning." Axel ruffled both of his friend's hair before making a swift retreat to the bathroom to Zexion's indignant squawks and Demyx's cries of _dude, not the hair._

* * *

><p>Axel stared into the mirror.<p>

He was never a huge fan of what stared back at him.

Earlier he'd just been joking with Larxene, he'd never really felt too sexy in his whole life, but wasn't exactly sure how to go about changing that fact. He dug around their medicine cabinet, stealing some of Demyx's cologne, then he brushed his teeth with more care than a dentist.

He contemplated his reflection for a little longer.

He'd been told by more than one person that he had nice eyes. Axel thought they were a little bit _too _green, but maybe he wasn't the best judge. He hesitantly removed his glasses.

He wore them for two reasons. One, he was a little blind. Two, they did a decent job of covering the scars on his cheeks, scars that he hated. Axel fussed around with his contact lenses and solution, making sure there wasn't one particle of dust present, because if there was it would drive him _nuts._

After successfully putting in contacts, Axel looked back to the mirror and considered his hair. On the one hand, it was completely wild and crazy and when it was in a ponytail it looked slightly less so. On the other hand, he sort of felt like an overgrown pineapple when he put his hair up.

Hair down then.

Axel meandered over to his room to change his clothes, throwing on a long sleeved black tee and the pair of jeans that Zexion had dubbed his "sex pants" mostly due to them being a little too tight, but well...that _was_ rather the point.

He went back into the living room, ready for inspection.

"Well, look at you." Larxene stood in the doorway to the kitchen, smirking.

Axel smiled back, knowing that was as close to a complement that he'd ever get from her.

"Ooo, he put on the sex pants." Demyx paused the game to whip around and give his assessment.

"Must be serious." Zexion resumed play of the game and scored a goal while Demyx was distracted.

"Not cool, Zex."

"Deal with it."

"When's Mr. Wonderful coming over?" Axel followed Larx back into the kitchen.

"Um..." He looked over at the clock on the microwave while pulling down a couple plates from the cabinets. "F-fifteen minutes."

"Hmm, I'd better get dumb and dumber moving along then."

* * *

><p>Axel was under the sneaking suspicion that Demyx was stalling for time. First he almost let Zexion win at blitzball, just so he could take the game into overtime. Then he had to change his clothes, and now he was taking an <em>awfully <em>long time to tie his shoes.

"Would you move it along. We're supposed to be meeting Marly." Larxene tapped her foot impatiently.

"You're still hanging around with that douche?" Demyx snorted.

"He's not a douche, he's a gentleman."

"Oh please, he's a class A asshole."

"Could we just go?" Zexion echoed Axel's thoughts. Roxas was going to be there any second...

There was a knock at the door.

"Ah, guess who." Demyx grinned in triumph. Axel knew he'd been plotting.

The redhead took a deep breath through his nose, then opened the door. Roxas stood waiting, dressed in skinny jeans and a checkered hoodie, his skateboard tucked under one arm and chunky headphones resting around his neck.

"Hey." The blonde grinned up at him, his hair looking a little windswept and his cheeks slightly red from the crisp air outside. He looked perfect.

"H-hey." Axel stepped to the side to let him in, and he could almost feel the judging rays his friends were sending Roxas's way.

"Oh, hi." Roxas seemed a little surprised that there were so many people gathered around the inside of the apartment. "I'm Roxas."

"Hey, man." Demyx extended a hand, broad smile in place. "I'm Demyx, and this is Zexion, we're Ax's roommates, and this is Larxene, friend of ours."

"Nice to meet you." Zexion shook Roxas's hand as well. Larxene simply nodded in his general direction. No one ever accused her of being friendly.

"A-and they were j-just leaving." Axel continued to hold the door open, staring at his friends pointedly.

"Right. Bye, don't do anything idiotic." Larxene swept by, patting his cheek lightly in passing.

Zexion and Demyx followed, the sandy blonde throwing Axel a wink over his shoulder.

"So, uh..." Axel shut the door and tried to get past the fact that _he was alone with Roxas in his apartment_. "You hun-hungry?"

"Starving."

* * *

><p>Dinner was a success, Roxas was duly impressed when Axel told him he'd cooked it himself (leaving out the part where Larxene told him exactly what to do) and the conversation had flowed easily, hardly any awkwardness present.<p>

Axel had learned all kinds of things. Like how Roxas had an older brother, and he'd been best friends with his roommate, Hayner, for more than ten years, and he liked dogs more than cats, and which racing games and comic books were his favorite, and he had a slight addiction to ice cream, and he liked to watch the sunset because it was beautiful, and somewhere in there he'd confirmed that he was single.

They'd washed the dishes together at Roxas's insistence, splashing some water at each other, and Axel wondered that if they dated for real, if it would always feel this good.

Now they were settled on the couch. Axel had put in a dvd, _The Lion King_, remembering Roxas's aversion to horror movies and their mutual love of all things Disney.

There was perhaps seven and a half inches of couch space between them, and Axel was desperately trying to think of ways to close the gap. He stretched his arm across the back of the couch, behind Roxas's head, his hand twitching to move forward and wrap around the other man's shoulders. He kept dividing his gaze between the movie and (hopefully) subtle glances at Roxas, until the singing meerkat couldn't hold his attention and he just stared at the blonde.

In the dim glowing light provided by the television, Roxas's hair looked very soft and somehow his eyes looked extra blue. Axel's eyes drifted down to take note of the pleasing way that Roxas's neck sloped into his shoulder.

"Hey."

Axel snapped his eyes back up to the blonde's face, to see him staring back, a small smile in place. "Hey."

Roxas's smile grew and he scooted a little closer, tucking his feet under his thighs and sitting up so he was almost eye level with Axel. The redhead dropped his arm from the back of the couch and allowed it to assume its desired position wrapped around Roxas.

"You know..." The blonde reached up with one hand pushing Axel's hair back from his face. "I don't think I've ever seen you without glasses."

"Oh, y-yeah. I usually wear th-them." Axel leaned into his touch a little, his heart starting to pound in his chest.

"That's a shame." Roxas rubbed one of the scars on Axel's cheeks with the pad of his thumb. "Your eyes are gorgeous."

Axel leaned in even further, leaving maybe two inches between them, trying to think of something to say or trying to build up the courage to move, but it was like he'd been frozen, and he'd never really done this before, but he had an idea of what he wanted to happen next, but it seemed so impossible, but Roxas was so close, and maybe he should say something, and...

Then Axel's brain came to a sudden halt, because Roxas's hand had snaked its way to the back of his head and he was pulling him in closer...

_Oh gods, yes._

Roxas's lips were soft and warm and after a few seconds of slight pressure he tilted his head to the left and pushed in further and captured Axel's bottom lip between his teeth. Axel groaned into the kiss and his mind seemed to go into some kind of autopilot mode, his limbs taking on a life of their own, because before he could really register what was happening, he'd lifted the little blonde into his lap, one hand wrapped around his waist, the other tangled in spiky hair, Roxas's lips sealed firmly over his own.

It seemed to go on forever, but all to soon they broke for air. Roxas kissed his way down Axel's jaw and gently nibbled his earlobe. Axel's hands rested on the other man's hips pulling him closer.

Roxas drew back, resting his forehead against Axel's. They stared into each other's eyes and Axel never wanted to let go.

"I like you." Roxas smiled at him, punctuating his statement with a quick kiss to the end of Axel's nose.

The redhead thought he was adorable and beautiful and perfect in every way and he wanted to tell Roxas that, but he opened and closed his mouth several times, his voice not willing to follow and his tongue not willing to cooperate. Finally he forced himself to respond with a simple. "M-me, uh, t-too."

Roxas leaned in to kiss him again, almost like he understood that there was so much more Axel wanted to say, but just couldn't find the words right that moment. And that was OK, because he could tell him later.

That kiss promised that there would be a later, and if that wasn't enough, Roxas confirmed it.

"So...I don't think I'm single anymore."

Axel grinned.

* * *

><p><em>Woo! First kiss. Things seem to be going swimmingly. <em>

_But there was that awful foreshadowing in chapter one. _

_Dun dun dun..._


End file.
